i am nothing i want everything – wine visions love sex ecstasy – the hotel room fills up with foreign chants – i’ve no idea where i am but the strange certainty i am a coal-seam fire in the dark playing russian roulette with Time over a bottle of rouge cigarettes old divorces & memorable falls – today i only believe in the pulsating of my veins bleats the forgotten crooner while les enfants de saint-germain-des-prés set fire to the terraces on saturday night & pretend tomorrow will never come – but it’s not Death that makes us all wear masks – but Life whatever life is – & the New Plague i realize is just another brand name for the eternal fear of living – something we try to ignore & slip under the carpet with cosmetics & reality shows so we never face it – perhaps in another life in another Netflix series – perhaps JAMAIS – i am enraged i am on fire – my dark side is running away from the immaculate lights of Heaven like a nettlesome bastard abhorred by the Mother Land – DON’T CALL ME WHITE ANYMORE – DON’T CALL ME AMERICAN – DON’T CALL ME EUROPEAN – i gave you a kiss you killed me with a chokehold – i am a broken bisque doll another amy winehouse in a glass jar taking refuge in the cannibal neons of the monster jungle – i have no voice i can’t breathe – now my surrealistic mezzanine is smoldering away tarted up with the ghost siren of marilyn monroe – george floyd is the dark side of america & america is burning – my gaze is burning – yr gaze is burning & nobody is innocent – the mirror is burning down spitting here & there bloody shards & clots of Time giving birth to a new dawn & i just wonder if you will like my awful face in the morning…
i am nothing i want everything – go fuck yourself with your labels – this poem is black charcoal turned EMBER & FIRE
Henrik Aeshna / Eros en Feu – Hôtel La Louisiane, Paris, June 13, 2020
PARIS POETRY 