I HATE LOS ANGELES – A NEW POEM BY JOYCE CARROL OATS

I HATE LOS ANGELES

too much glam &

too much hair

so much glitter & dust

i couldn’t see the exit sign

here we goo

i met this gal in a bar on the sunset strip

her name was jane, aka kill bill

she told me she wanted to be a rock star

then she sang me one of her songs

« i wanna be bigger than lady ga »’ something, lady something, anyway,

she sang so bad that

i told myself that she would soon 

end up in a loony bin 

along w/ a bunch of other aborted ghosts 

who once dreamt of becoming the 

next hollywood star

but only thing they got was a 

second role in a gangbang movie

or a ragged piece of red carpet as mattress on skid row

the yellow brick road stinking of fentanyl & meth

then i met this barman who wanted to be buddha

& a belly-dancer who wanted to be bambi

while bambi was too fed up with being bambi 

& wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to be

maybe rambo, batman or elvis

baby ariel a bond girl or a bee gee

even god wanted to be someone else

maybe kirsten stewart or leo di caprio or beyoncé

& the sun wanted to be the moon, but a blue moon not like any other

& the moon wished it could be blue velvet but w/ mick jagger’s lips

as mick jagger, everybody knows,

always wanted to be brian jones

let alone all the dumbass jerks claiming to be jesus christ or charles manson, o lord

& the bottle of water whining « i wanna be sedated »

& the teacup kicking the womb in a temper tantrum « i am a storm, man »

& madonna trying her best to be madonna again

but nobody wants to be madonna anymore

& this highly ambitious ashtray that dreamt of being a trashbin

& the trashbin dreamt of being lady gaga, which is every trashbin’s highest dream

& harvey weinstein wanted to be everybody’s best friend

& even the rose didn’t want to be a rose anymore

she was willing to give both arms & legs, pussy & ass, to be a sunflower

& the sunflower would make a pact with the devil to be marilyn monroe

marilyn just wanted to be norma jean baker again 

but was forever locked in marilyn monroe

so she became an std 

the std ran for president & became donald trump

finally, in this mad normadesmondland 

of pokemons & wannabes 

only the pipe seemed to be ok with itself

it knew deep down 

it wasn’t a pipe

– then i woke up from this shitty what-the-fuck nighmare full of crazy fake schizophrenic people

finally back to reality & my

normal life

as norman bates

JOYCE CARROL OATS